Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
