i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
