These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
