I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
