Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
