If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
