Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
