the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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