Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Porn is love you can see.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize