remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
