Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
