actually, I'm a sock model
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
