Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
