PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
