Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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