I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
