Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
