you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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