That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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