We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize