K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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