Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
how drunk are you?
Several
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
