im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
