all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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