No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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