Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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