Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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