I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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