Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
