I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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