Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
