At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
only if we run a train.
done.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
