We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You took a bar mat shot.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
