That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
