Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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