I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
