I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
