I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
