Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
