I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
