There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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