I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize