Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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