So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
