Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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