just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
