There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize