Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
