i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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