One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can you bring me the toilet please
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
