Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
