i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize