I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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