Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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