I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
