i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize