Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
