with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
