It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize